What makes you think I want those things? I like the ones I have !
What is a funny/witty comeback when someone says "This is why you can't have good things"?
The big problem with witty, funny comebacks is that if they're not original they just sound pathetic. It's far better to ignore snarky comments.
I would say " Remember when I asked for your opinion ? NEITHER DO I :p !" Or at least that's what I'd want to say :) yeah I'd say that today.
If that good thing is YOU..... Then I am sorry I don't want that...