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I'd like someone to translate what this means and what language it is. Does anyone know? (see below for details)

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Why is it that I'm so adorable and awesome but I still have no friends?

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Will I go to prison for damaging someone's ukuleles? This may sound absolutely ridiculous but I am genuinely scared..
About 3 weeks ago I got in contact with a friend I haven't spoken to or seen in quite a while, maybe 4 years, I was at the pub and he was at home. I asked him to come to the pub and he said he didn't want to and invited me over to his house instead, I thought why not, I hadn't seen him in ages and I was going through a rough time (lost my baby at 17 weeks gestation, had to give birth to him, funeral was coming up) so it would've been nice to see a friend. So I went to his house, I was relatively drunk at this point and we were having a nice time, baring in mind this is a guy I used to sleep with and he kind of left things a bad way by telling me he loved me and stuff and then continued to get back with his ex, his ex whom he had recently broken up with the day I went to his his. So anyway, we ended up getting intimate, probably worst idea in the world but it happened anyway, but straight after, he was acting very weird with me and it made me uncomfortable, he got up and left his room and went to the kitchen and was speaking on the phone to someone and this is where I got upset. I assumed it was his ex girlfriend and it made me feel disgusting, so I confronted him about it and he was angry and things got heated and he said some horrible things like "I should've aborted my son" and was just being so mean, so I lost my temper and got his 2 ukuleles and smashed them on the floor, breaking them, I know I shouldn't have done it but I was upset, I also suffer from borderline personality disorder which adds to my intense outburst, which he knows all about, but still continued to make me upset/angry. So pretty instantly after he run up to me, pinned me down to the bed by my throat and threatened me so I pushed him off me and left his house, absolutely hysterical, I was upset by what I had done. I then later found out he called the police as I got arrested and had to spend 12 hours in a cell, the charge was criminal damage. I also found out that he told the police the reason I reacted and smashed up his ukuleles was because I wanted to have sex with him and he rejected me, which is ridiculous, I have photographic evidence of him sending me his address over the top of a photo of him basically naked showing his private area. I have got to go to magistrates court on Wednesday. What is the likely outcome? Sorry if anyone thinks this is stupid

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Not to be rude, but why aren’t you discussing this situation with a lawyer? We aren’t legal experts,...

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I Have A Dull Ache In My Right Side Just Below The Rib Cage , The Ache Radiates From The Right Front To The Middle Of My Back And Mostly On The Right Side, Have Had Upper And Lower Ct Scans And Several Chest X-rays That Show Nothing, What Could It Be?
I have a plan to visit London one day. I know that London is awesome, so that's why I named it to be my dream place to visit. What should I see in London? Any suggestions would great!
What do I do? Any help? (Read below)

So a guy I've been seeing recently cut me off after like 8 months of talking and knowing each other. I really miss him and I want him back but he blocked me on everything and hasn't read any of my messages and refuses to reply. What happened?
So I accused him of talking to other girls (I did this more than once) and he got angry and really mad and he said he'd had enough of me constantly creating arguments and not trusting him... Fair enough I knew I was wrong but I had my reasons. So right after I tried to apologise but it was too late because he already blocked me! Like that quick! He didn't even let me explain, he didn't even give me an explanation why, he just left without saying a word and it hurts like crazy and I miss him so badly and I would do anything to get him back but he's so mad. I just want closure , even if he said 'goodbye' I wouldn't be hurting so much bt he said nothing. He kinda just left... Obviously he said he couldn't be bothered with me right now but I didn't think he meant he would leave. What do I do? It's been just over a week and I'm scared he won't come back. How can he just pretend I no longer exist to him? :( Really heart-broken!
I'd like someone to translate what this means and what language it is. Does anyone know? (see below for details)
Why is it that I'm so adorable and awesome but I still have no friends?
Is it mean to say that someone looks like a biscuit? Every time I see this girl I just think "biscuit " I don't know why but it's true.
Is it my fault that my parents always fight? it goes like this: my mom tells me to do something -> I don't do it because i'm focused on something else -> my mom nags on and on -> my dad start complaining and does something out of anger (today he poured the breakfast my mom made for me away) -> they start arguing and fighting. Mym said it's entirely my fault that this always happens. I don't see why I can't hold something off for just a little bit. I also don't see why my dad just HAD to pour my mom's food away. This is not the only instance.
Will I go to prison for damaging someone's ukuleles? This may sound absolutely ridiculous but I am genuinely scared..
About 3 weeks ago I got in contact with a friend I haven't spoken to or seen in quite a while, maybe 4 years, I was at the pub and he was at home. I asked him to come to the pub and he said he didn't want to and invited me over to his house instead, I thought why not, I hadn't seen him in ages and I was going through a rough time (lost my baby at 17 weeks gestation, had to give birth to him, funeral was coming up) so it would've been nice to see a friend. So I went to his house, I was relatively drunk at this point and we were having a nice time, baring in mind this is a guy I used to sleep with and he kind of left things a bad way by telling me he loved me and stuff and then continued to get back with his ex, his ex whom he had recently broken up with the day I went to his his. So anyway, we ended up getting intimate, probably worst idea in the world but it happened anyway, but straight after, he was acting very weird with me and it made me uncomfortable, he got up and left his room and went to the kitchen and was speaking on the phone to someone and this is where I got upset. I assumed it was his ex girlfriend and it made me feel disgusting, so I confronted him about it and he was angry and things got heated and he said some horrible things like "I should've aborted my son" and was just being so mean, so I lost my temper and got his 2 ukuleles and smashed them on the floor, breaking them, I know I shouldn't have done it but I was upset, I also suffer from borderline personality disorder which adds to my intense outburst, which he knows all about, but still continued to make me upset/angry. So pretty instantly after he run up to me, pinned me down to the bed by my throat and threatened me so I pushed him off me and left his house, absolutely hysterical, I was upset by what I had done. I then later found out he called the police as I got arrested and had to spend 12 hours in a cell, the charge was criminal damage. I also found out that he told the police the reason I reacted and smashed up his ukuleles was because I wanted to have sex with him and he rejected me, which is ridiculous, I have photographic evidence of him sending me his address over the top of a photo of him basically naked showing his private area. I have got to go to magistrates court on Wednesday. What is the likely outcome? Sorry if anyone thinks this is stupid

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