Funny things to say when answering the phone may include things like: 'Home for the terminally confused, who am I, please?' or 'City Morgue here, John Doe speaking', or 'Woof. County dog pound, Rover speaking'. Another good one is 'Sorry, this line has been taken over by the FBI. Please state your name and contact details, an agent will be visiting your home shortly'.
How about answering the phone with 'Heavenly Gates exchange, please hold, God's line is busy', or 'Hark the herald angels, sorry, this is the Lord speaking, how can I help you?'. Someone recently answered his phone with 'House of God, Abraham speaking, how may I be of assistance?'.
'Hell here. Purgatory Dept, Lucifer speaking, how may I punish you?', 'Chain him back up now and stoke that fire, sorry, Satan here, how can I torture you?' and 'Hell, long term penitence section, Hitler speaking' are some examples of hellish answers on the phone.
'Family planning, here, congratulations, your girlfriend is having triplets', 'Hello, usalama wa taifa hapa Tanzania, jinsi gani naweza kukusaidia', which is Swahili for: 'Hello, national security Tanzania here, how can I help you?', try Google translate for pronunciation.
'Roadkill Carvery, we grill what you kill', 'Ugly convention center, Frankenstein speaking', 'Oh my God, the voices are here again' and 'Pleasure center, what tickles you?' are just some of the many choices heard.
Others include 'You have dialed a restricted line. The CIA kindly requests that you get off right now', 'Alcoholics anonymous, hang on let me put the bottle down', this works best if said in a very drunken voice, 'I told you twice already, I am out right now' and 'McDonald's Tokyo, can I take your order' in a Japanese accent.